I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.

Life is sacred? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death.

That's basically what the drive is: "I want to be famous, I want to be noticed, and I want to be approved of." That's basically what you're after. "Give me attention, give me applause, give me an audience. A. A. A. Straight As." That's all you're looking for.

Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.

It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?

Energy experts have announced the development of a new fuel made from human brain tissue. It's called assohol.

Always do whatever's next.