They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old fashioned, but I insist that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport.

Never underestimate the role pretension plays when it comes to creating euphemistic language.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.

Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.

I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies.