To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope.

Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies.

I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

If God created everything, he's got a serious quality control problem.