Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?

We are all precancerous.

Sometimes guys'll say to you, 'Have a good one'. I say, 'I already have a good one. Now I'm looking for a longer one'.

People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.

I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.

Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.