If you take five white guys and put 'em with five black guys, and let 'em hang around together for about a month, and at the end of the month, you'll notice that the white guys are walking and talking and standing like the black guys do. You'll never see the black guys going, "Oh, golly! We won the big game today, yes sir!" But you'll see guys with red hair named Duffy going, "What's happenin'?"

Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.

I've set my own rules to live by. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'

Life is a zero sum game.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.

Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?