There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.

The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.

Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, "Well, okay, that's enough of that."

The person who is most a part of me is the performer, is the standup, the guy who says, "Hey look at me, listen to this!" I do that because that's what I do, I love doing it.

I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.

We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.