There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

The angles of my body show you an awful lot. I started doing coke to feel open, but by that time, the hole had opened so wide that I'd fallen through. The body language in those photos tells you everything.

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense? What year did Jesus think it was?

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.

Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.