If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

When I go to a party, nobody says hello. But when I leave, everybody says goodbye.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar.