A ready way to lose your friend is to lend him money. Another equally ready way to lose him is to refuse to lend him money. It is six of one and a half dozen of the other.

Sex touches the heavens only when it simultaneously touches the gutter and the mud.

It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on.

The Russian dramatist is one who, walking through a cemetery, does not see the flowers on the graves. The American dramatist . . . Does not see the graves under the flowers.

Art is the sex of the imagination.

Opening Night: The night before the play is ready to open.

A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart.