Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

Like everybody else, when I don't know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds.

The notion that as a man grows older his illusions leave him is not quite true. What is true is that his early illusions are supplanted by new, and to him, equally convincing illusions.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

A ready way to lose your friend is to lend him money. Another equally ready way to lose him is to refuse to lend him money. It is six of one and a half dozen of the other.

The sweetest memory is that which involves something which one should not have done; the bitterest, that which involves something which one should not have done, and which one did not do.

Great drama is the souvenir of the adventure of a master among the pieces of his own soul.