I have yet to find a man worth his salt in any direction who did not think of himself first and foremost.

Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work inthe brewery.

To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination.

A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.

The dramatic critic who is without prejudice is on the plane with the general who does not believe in taking human life.

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

All that is necessary to raise imbecility into what the mob regards as profundity is to lift it off the floor and put it on a platform.