What passes for woman's intuition is more often intrinsically nothing more than man's transparency.

To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination.

The most loyal and faithful woman indulges her imagination in a hypothetical liaison whenever she dons a new street frock for the first time.

Opening Night: The night before the play is ready to open.

A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart.

A ready way to lose your friend is to lend him money. Another equally ready way to lose him is to refuse to lend him money. It is six of one and a half dozen of the other.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.