The sweetest memory is that which involves something which one should not have done; the bitterest, that which involves something which one should not have done, and which one did not do.

The dramatic critic who is without prejudice is on the plane with the general who does not believe in taking human life.

What passes for woman's intuition is more often intrinsically nothing more than man's transparency.

One does not go to the theater to see life and nature; one goes to see the particular way in which life and nature happen to look to a cultivated, imaginative and entertaining man who happens, in turn, to be a playwright.

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.

I drink so the others become interesting.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.