Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.

The sweetest memory is that which involves something which one should not have done; the bitterest, that which involves something which one should not have done, and which one did not do.

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on.

So long as there is one pretty girl left on the stage, the professional undertakers may hold up their burial of the theater.

There is something distinguished about even his failures; they sink not trivially, but with a certain air of majesty, like a great ship, its flags flying, full of holes.

Shaw writes plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve.