Sex touches the heavens only when it simultaneously touches the gutter and the mud.

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.

The sweetest memory is that which involves something which one should not have done; the bitterest, that which involves something which one should not have done, and which one did not do.

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

A broken heart is a monument to a love that will never die; fulfillment is a monument to a love that is already on its deathbed.

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.

All one has to do to gather a large crowd in New York is to stand on the curb a few minutes and gaze intently at the sky.