If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.

I can never do nothing in this house!

I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.

I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.

No particular race is the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy.

Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.

We're Mexican not Mexican't!