I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.

I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.

I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.

R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher

A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers. The man goes Thank god I don't have cancer.

I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.

No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.