Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.
Gilbert GottfriedI was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.
Gilbert GottfriedWith the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it.
Gilbert GottfriedI have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like its crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like its laughing. Nowadays, we would say, How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.
Gilbert Gottfried