I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.

I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.

You know what the bodega is? It's the little Latin store, and they try to act like it's a grocery store. It has two aisles. And the guy, he always tries to help me, 'You looking for the bread?' I was like, 'Dude, I can see it right here, alright.' He's like, 'Hey, hey, it's in aisle two.' That's all you got, what are you talking about?

I used to think it was corny to be in love but actually it's corny to lose an awesome woman! Real talk.

Customs is punishment for those who travel. This will teach you for traveling to our country!

If Mandela were a comedian, I bet he would never get mad at a heckler, he'd give him or her a hug.

When my woman kisses me I start dancing like James Brown. Ow! I Feel Good!