The one thing you don't want to be is a sucky clean comic. I hate sucky clean comics! It's like Christian rock, bro. I'd rather listen to gospel and Christian rock. That's cheating!

I can always create new material. That's something I can control.

Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do!

I love when they show the really gay prisoner in prison shows. He's the cutest inside but you know on the street he would be the ugliest.

My black friends in America don't believe me. I said, 'Dude, I'm Nigerian American.' 'Word? We thought you were, like, regular black.' What the hell is 'regular black'? Crayola coming out with colors I don't know about?

I wish people would understand that comedy is an art form, and that the same thing that makes a Picasso painting is the same thing that gives Bill Cosby the ability to do an hour of comedy on his kids.

Want to shut a racist white guy's mouth. Put him around Super human athletic black dudes.