I got into trouble a lot in school. They say you're a disturbance in class. You're a distraction, they're moving you around. You never really get rewarded in class for being funny. You're a disturbance. But the funny kid is often witty and clever and quick... they finally get a chance to express themselves when they get out of school.

That's what I take pride in in my stand-up, is changing things up. Being special.

I use profanity because I like profanity, but I'm not vulgar. Big difference. I love profanity because I really think profanity is cool.

Hey man! I'm a comedian but I'm not a clown.

You know, the energy I think I was just born with. I think I was just always like that as I kid; I was always real energetic.

If Mandela were a comedian, I bet he would never get mad at a heckler, he'd give him or her a hug.

I love when they show the really gay prisoner in prison shows. He's the cutest inside but you know on the street he would be the ugliest.