When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.

Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.

I'm the candidate who forgot to take off her hat before she threw it in the ring.

It's a game everybody plays. If you see a man with a beard and holler "Beaver!" it's five points. And if you see a man with a moustache, it's onlI three points.

Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality.

A friend asked her doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman.