When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.

You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.

I'm the candidate who forgot to take off her hat before she threw it in the ring.

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

A friend asked her doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman.

Gracie: "Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones." Blanche Morton: "Nina Jones?" Gracie: "I've never heard of her either, because she gave up."