When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.

Never place a period where God has placed a comma.

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.

It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.

It's a game everybody plays. If you see a man with a beard and holler "Beaver!" it's five points. And if you see a man with a moustache, it's onlI three points.