Never place a period where God has placed a comma.

The Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to sit in the balcony.

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.

Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.