I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.

You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.

They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.