I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.

They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.

I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.

Gracie: "Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones." Blanche Morton: "Nina Jones?" Gracie: "I've never heard of her either, because she gave up."

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality.