I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.

Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.

They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.