My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.

This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.

I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.