This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Gracie: "Don't give up, Blanche. Women don't do that. Look at Betsy Ross, Martha Washington-they didn't give up. Look at Nina Jones." Blanche Morton: "Nina Jones?" Gracie: "I've never heard of her either, because she gave up."

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

I don't see what difference it makes what side it's [your bread] buttered on. I always eat both sides.

All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.