The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.

I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.

Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.

Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.

I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer.

If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.