A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'

All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.

It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot.

Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No!

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints