A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.