I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.

All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth.