I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.

It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.

An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot.

All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.

Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'