Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend.