Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

I don't think anyone wants to be gay.

I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case.

My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.