I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.

All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.

Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.

One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.