I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'

Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?'

I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.

I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer.

The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you.