Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean.

I am very quick to judge.

If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.