Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

Britain's such a twisted, weird little place.

One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.

I don't think anyone wants to be gay.

All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.

All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth.