I am very quick to judge.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.