You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend.

My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.

An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

I don't think anyone wants to be gay.

I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.

I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.