It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it.

He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.

Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.

I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh.

My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you

We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.