It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it.

I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.

A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.

big plans require big action

It is in that moment, when you really lay down your cards and see the relationship for what it was, that you'll find the freedom to kick it in the ass and let it go.

My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.

Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.