But what I can do is paint you a picture of what you’ll never see when you’re with a guy who’s really into you: You’ll never see you staring maniacally at your phone, willing it to ring. You’ll never see you ruining an evening with friends because you’re calling for your messages every fifteen seconds. You’ll never see you hating yourself for calling him when you know you shouldn’t have. What you will see is you being treated so well that no phone antics will be necessary. You’ll be too busy being adored.

I'm fascinated with human relationships. I advocate the relationship you have with yourself.

It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.

She didn't love me that much, but she moved in with me. That's a plus. And then one night, I caught her making out with another dude on the driveway. That's a minus.

Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.

I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.

If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.