Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.

I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.

He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great.

The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive.

Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.

Sometimes people change their minds, sometimes they meet someone else, sometimes they get sober, and sometimes he was just a jerk who you're lucky to be rid of.

He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.