Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.

I love astute observations and really great wordplay. I love the way that Louis C.K. observes life, and I love the way Patton Oswalt talks about it.

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it.

Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.

I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.

Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges

Men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth.