Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.

I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.

It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less - even a vague pathetic facsimile of less - than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get, and please don't settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.

My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.

You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.

When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.

It`s the prettiest place on the planet. My childhood was like a dream. It`s like the last Mayberry.