Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?

So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.

Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.

Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)

I like the idea that when a guy comes over to the house, I get to say I wrote the book.

My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.