I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.

Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.

I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh.

Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.

So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, 'Dude, dude, don't - those are the good plates.

A good indication that it's not is if you're only staying with What's His Name because you're scared.

He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want to see you when his judgment isn't impaired.