My advice to graduates is to stay positive. Life is short, and you'll be dead soon.

How many of you text message? It's a great way of not communicating.

Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA. You know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.

"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress."

It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.

Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.

Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom.