It's something like 70% of American adults are obese, and the rest of them are women on Ally McBeal.

We need more money for schools. We need more money for the kids. Ever think maybe the damn kids aren't worth it?

The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny.

Look at Thomas Jefferson. The guy had illegitimate kids in the 1700s, and they caught him last year. If you cheat on your wife and cover it up for 200 years, you're pretty much thinking you're home free.

I've always had real trouble knowing what my actual desires and goals are. I've just been dragged along by fate.

It's hard to distinguish when I was actually struggling from when I only felt like I was struggling - which was pretty much always.

The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.