If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.

Some people are just really goofy kind of guitar acts, and they go out and do these colleges and start making a fortune pretty early on. And other people - I know guys who are great comics, who've done the Letterman show many times, who still barely pay their bills.

Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom.

"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress."

The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.

Terrorism is obviously on everybody's mind. The other day my son says to me, 'Daddy, how come the bad men hate us?' How sad is that? I actually got tears in my eyes - because he's 18. What kind of a moron am I raising?