Americans are not gonna conserve. We're not gonna shift to smaller cars. We can't - we have big, fat kids.

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story

Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET.

Seventy-two virgins - does that make sense to anyone? And it's an ancient religion, maybe it was misinterpreted? Maybe it's not 72 virgins, maybe it's a 7-foot-2 Persian.

The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude.

George Bush says that gay people getting married would violate the sanctity of marriage. Is anybody here married? Does it feel like a gift from God to you?

Once I saw a homeless man wearing his underwear on top of his pants. Now we say, why don't the homeless just go out and get a job? If he's wearing his underwear on top of his pants, I doubt his resume is in order, and I don't think he's going to make it too far in the interview process. In fact, I'm pretty sure that McDonald's has a no underwear over your pant policy.