The thing which Reagan did, which was great, was he won the people. He marginalized the media. And that's what you need, an intellectual agility.

The Islamophobia phobes, (ph) the writers and the editors and the talking heads who deny an existence of evil while blaming those who speak up. There no difference - different than the apologists for communism. As communism killed millions, they, they denied it.

I don't understand why a 40 is a quarter of beer when a 40 is 40 ounces. It's time to embrace the metric system.

ObamaCare is creating nothing but misery for everybody.

The best thing about Ikea - I'm going to do a quiz here - the names. Do you know what a Floria Fin (ph) is? It's a candle. A Pogestra (ph) - table. A Bar Grick (ph) is a plate, an Eterleeg (ph) is a wine glass and a Scuggle (ph) is the name of my third nipple.

I don't like the way my hair looks, so we're going to do the whole show over.

The longer I live, the more I'm convinced the world is just one big high school, with the cool kids always targeting the uncool.