And eat lots of mints, it fools the cops.

I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.

We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one.... And I am proud.

I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter me. And I have no other skills really, so I'm sorta stuck with this now. It's a little late to switch over to an ornithologist.

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!

My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.