If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away.

I think comedy should be left up to the professionals, that way everyone's safety is protected.

I like the night life, I like to boogy.

Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.

I don't come on to seduce the audience. I don't care if everyone laughs. I can't think about that anymore. If there's anything that a lot of experience on stage and a lot of stage time gives you is the confidence to know that it's ok if they're not laughing every second you're up there. Although that's what drives me and I still go too fast a lot of the time.

I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.

Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.