I like the night life, I like to boogy.

Animals have two vital functions in today's society; to be delicious and to fit well.

Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.

I think comedy should be left up to the professionals, that way everyone's safety is protected.

Contact lenses are for vain, weak-willed piglets who swan around showing off: 'Look everybody, I can see without spectacles. No one at first glance will ever assume I know how to surf the net.'

If you have a funny costume, you can't really wear it when you get older.

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!