I like to go to England, and I'll tell you why. I like to go to a country where I am considered the best-looking person. It's as simple as that. Hollywood, kind of a crushing ego blow - 'Hey Buddy Holly, you are so old, have you not perished in a plane crash?' But not in England, good God, not there. In England, God bless that dinky island, there it's, 'Good God, look at him. He has all his teeth and his ears are in proportion to his head.' I'm Brad bloody Pitt on that island.

How would you like to make money in real estate?

I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.

I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.